Renewal

Samuel 1 21:13 So he changed his behavior before them; he pretended to be mad when in their presence.  He scratched marks on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle run down his beard.

    I took a long break. I'm sorry. Easter and spring are times of renewal and I hope that this will spark a new fire in my belly to continue this challenge. I was given sparkly new books and amazon gift certificates for my birthday and so put my bible aside. Today, I picked it up. I felt guilty but happy that it was a good time for second chances.  And so I start again and, though I am angry and ashamed of myself for letting this lull happen, will not let myself change my behavior before you like David.

Sticks and Stones

1 Samuel 17:49-50


And David put his hand into his bag and took from it a stone and slung it, and struck the Philistine on his forehead. And the stone sank into his forehead, so that he fell on his face to the ground.Thus David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone, and he struck the Philistine and killed him; but there was no sword in David's hand.

And thus David proved the the old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Up until he killed the Philistine they were smack talking like CRAZY. No one cared and it didn't hurt anyone but as soon as David broke out the stones somebody got killed. Anyone want to start an Anti-Stone Organization and push some legislation through against these scary giant killing weapons? 

Music Soothes the Soul...I mean Saul

Music Soothes the Soul Saul

    It has always been my opinion that music can fix any problem. Perhaps it's naive, but whenever I've had a rough day if I turn on a bit of classical music I calm down right away and am able to look at the day with fresh eyes. I never thought I would find proof in the bible of this mystery but it seems I was wrong.

1 Samuel 16:23 And whenever the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, David took the lyre and played it with his hand, and Saul would be relieved and feel better, and the evil spirit would depart from him.





What do you like to listen to when you've had a rough day?

Have I been reading the bible too long....

or does this make sense?

1 Samuel 15:33 But Samuel said, "As your sward has made women childless, so your mother shall be childless among women."


This quote made me think about the death penalty. I never really knew how I felt before and I'm not sure if after reading about all the death and destruction in the bible whether I'm just becoming desensitized to harsh punishment or not. What do you think about the death penalty?

I found two maps while looking up information. The first is a map of how many people each state has executed since 1976. Notice Texas.

The second is a map of which states have used the death penalty since 2000.

Just thought I would provide a bit of information that might help you make your choice. I am curious about others opinions. I'm, also, frustrated for not being sure about my own decision.

No wonder Ichabod Crane was so messed up...

I Samuel 4:20-21 As she was about to die, the women attending her said to her, "Do not be afraid, for you have borne a son." But she did not answer or give heed. She named the child Ichabod meaning, "The glory has departed from Israel," because the ark of God had been captured and because of her father-in-law and her husband.


Why would you name your son something so sad? I realize that she is dying. I understand that she feels as though she's dying on the inside as well because of her Father-in-Law and Husband's work. But doesn't naming your son something like that set him up for being hated his whole life? He is now a reminder to everyone around him that the ark of God is gone. The kids at school don't even need to come up with nicknames to make fun of him... Poor Ichabod.

If anyone has any insight into this, please, let me know.

Love Speech

Shortly after finishing the book Twilight (Yes, I read Twilight. Ask me what I thought of it sometime.) I came across this beautiful speech in the Bible. I thought how great it was to be reading so much about love in one week!

"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. ¹⁷ Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

I have omitted the book because I want you out there in internetland to guess. Who says this? Who do they say it to? Good luck!

P.S. Don't cheat... or if you do admit it, cheater.

What?!

No picture for this one. Just read this. I can't believe it. Just read it. Ew. Just read it.

Judges 19:22-30

22 While they were celebrating, behold, the men of the city, certain worthless fellows, surrounded the house, pounding the door; and they spoke to the owner of the house, the old man, saying, “Bring out the man who came into your house that we may have relations with him.” 23 Then the man, the owner of the house, went out to them and said to them, “No, my fellows, please do not act so wickedly; since this man has come into my house, do not commit this act of folly. 24 “Here is my virgin daughter and his concubine. Please let me bring them out that you may ravish them and do to them whatever you wish. But do not commit such an act of folly against this man.” 25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man seized his concubine and brought her out to them; and they raped her and abused her all night until morning, then let her go at the approach of dawn. 26 As the day began to dawn, the woman came and fell down at the doorway of the man’s house where her master was, until full daylight.
27 When her master arose in the morning and opened the doors of the house and went out to go on his way, then behold, his concubine was lying at the doorway of the house with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up and let us go,” but there was no answer. Then he placed her on the donkey; and the man arose and went to his home. 29 When he entered his house, he took a knife and laid hold of his concubine and cut her in twelve pieces, limb by limb, and sent her throughout the territory of Israel. 30 All who saw it said, “Nothing like this has ever happened or been seen from the day when the sons of Israel came up from the land of Egypt to this day. Consider it, take counsel and speak up!”

What?!

Hey there Delilah

SAMSON AND DELILAH

I guess I always thought this was supposed to be a love story. I have the same feeling now that I had when I saw the second act of West Side Story. The first half makes you so excited. Love! It makes everything grand! Then after intermission it tears your heart out and you wind up sobbing down the aisle as some older woman hits her husband and says, "See! I wasn't the only one bawling, Henry!" For those of you who don't know (spoiler alert) here's what happens:

Judges 16:18-21 When Delilah realized that he had told her his whole secret, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, "This time come up, for he has told his whole secret to me." Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her, and brought the money in their hands. She let him fall asleep on her lap and she called a man, and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. He began to weaken and his strength left him... So the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes.

Dying a virgin

Jephthah told God that if he would have the Ammonites given into his hand the first person he saw come out of his door at home he would offer as a burnt offering. When he came home his daughter ran out to meet him. He tore his clothes and was very sad. She asked if she could have two months to wander in the mountains with her friends and woe her virginity and how she would die without ever sleeping with a man.

There arose a custom of the daughters of Israel to go out and lament the daughter of Jephthah for four days.

This story made me cry. First, that her father had to come home victorious and rather than be happy to see his daughter he was so sad because he had to offer her up to God as a sacrifice. Second, that she never got to know love. Third, that she's not even mentioned by name. Poor Jephthah's daughter. What a sad fate.

Son of a prostitute

Judges 11:1-2 Now Jephthah the Gileadite, the son of a prostitute, was a mighty warrior. Gilead was the father of Jephthah. Gilead's wife also bore him sons; and when his wife's sons grew up, they drove Jephthah away, saying to him, " You shall not inherit anything in our father's house; for you are the son of another woman."

What jerks! Well, let me tell you, he doesn't need his brother's and father's love or money. He becomes a judge for 6 years and helps save Israel. Unfortunately, his daughter...well, you'll read about it next time.

By the way, how do you think Jephthah is pronounced? I keep tripping over it in my head. Is it Jep-tah or something completely different?

Trees

Judges 9:7-15

The Parable of the Trees

The trees once went out

to anoint a king over themselves.

So they said to the olive tree,

'Reign over us.'

The olive tree answered them,

'Shall I stop producing my rich oil

by which gods and mortals are honored,

and go to sway over the trees?'

Then the trees said to the fig tree,

'You come and reign over us.'

But the fig tree answered them,

'Shall I stop producing my sweetness

and my delicious fruit,

and go to sway over the trees?'

Then the trees said to the vine,

'You come and reign over us.'

But the vine said to them,

'Shall I stop producing my wine

that cheers gods and mortals,

and go to sway over the trees?'

So all the trees said to the bramble,

'You come and reign over us.'

And the bramble said to the trees,

'If in good faith you are anointing me

king over you,

then come and take refuge in my shade;

but if not, let fire come out of the bramble

and devour the cedars of Lebanon.'

The Song of Deborah

Deborah was a prophetess. Her story starts with Barak who went on a mission to take Mount Tabor. On the way he almost gets caught but is rescued by Jael. When his persecutor, Sisera, tries to find Barak in her tent here's what happened:

Judges 5:25-26 He asked for water and she gave him milk, she brought him curds in a lordly bowl. She put her hand to the tent peg and her right hand to the workmen's mallet; she struck Sisera a blow, she crushed his head, she shattered and pierced his temple.

This is a direct excerpt from a song. It's no Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice but it paints quite a picture!

He must be relieving himself...

Rather than write a commentary about the story of the second judge I think everyone should take some time out of their day and read it. This guy was tricky!

Judges 3: 14-30

The Israelites were subject to Eglon king of Moab for eighteen years.

Again the Israelites cried out to the LORD, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a foot and a half long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man. After Ehud had presented the tribute, he sent on their way the men who had carried it. At the idols near Gilgal he himself turned back and said, "I have a secret message for you, O king." The king said, "Quiet!" And all his attendants left him. Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. Then Ehud went out to the porch; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.

After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, "He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the house." They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead.

While they waited, Ehud got away. He passed by the idols and escaped to Seirah. When he arrived there, he blew a trumpet in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went down with him from the hills, with him leading them."Follow me," he ordered, "for the LORD has given Moab, your enemy, into your hands." So they followed him down and, taking possession of the fords of the Jordan that led to Moab, they allowed no one to cross over. At that time they struck down about ten thousand Moabites, all vigorous and strong; not a man escaped. That day Moab was made subject to Israel, and the land had peace for eighty years.

Judges

Judges 2:16-19 Then the Lord raised up judges, who delivered them out of the power of those who plundered them. Yet they did not listen even to their judges; for they lusted after other gods and bowed down to them... Whenever the Lord raised up judges for them, the Lord was with the judge, and he delivered them from the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge... But whenever the judge died, they would relapse and behave worse than their ancestors, following other gods, worshipping them and bowing down to them.

Isn't that the way it always is? Especially with young children. You put a double scoop hot fudge sundae in front of a child and say, "Don't eat this or I'll be really mad." They probably won't eat it right in front of you but leave the room. No really, leave the room and I beat you a sundae they'll eat the whole thing. In some cases the food will be all over their mouth as they tell you how they don't know anything about the missing delights. The fudge will be dripping down their faces as they say, "No, I didn't eat it. I promise." Probably the worst idea is to give them a second, third, or in God's case TWELFTH chance. Those people ate a lot of sundaes...

I'm not saying that sundaes are other gods. I am saying, however, that you owe me a sundae or twelve.

Thumbs and Big Toes

Judges 1:6 Adoni Bezek fled; but they pursued him, and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and big toes.

They pursued him, and caught him, and cut off his thumbs and big toes. That's crazy!! Not only will your enemy's balance be off now but he won't be able to tie his shoes, open a jar, or throw a baseball. Not a life worth living if you ask me.

I chose a short passage to start what will be a long string of Judges posts. There are so many great stories in Judges it's going to be hard to do them all justice but this is definitely a good start.

Joshua only gets one post

I finished Deuteronomy and wasn't it fun? I'm sorry I ever doubted it. I've really been enjoying this. As much as it seems like all my posts are poking fun at the bible I've learned a lot historically and about my own faith. Humor is just how I deal with the unknown. I hope I haven't offended anyone and if I have I'm sorry and I'd love to have an in depth conversation with you sometime about all the things I felt were too serious and personal to write in this journal.

I read all of Joshua in a day. It was basically filled with Joshua completing Moses' quest. Btw! Moses doesn't get to go to the promised land. What?! He does all that work and then bupkis! Poor Moses...Oh well, back to Joshua.

Joshua 12: 7, 9-24 The following are the kings of the land whom Joshua and the Israelites defeated on the west side of the Jordan...the king of Jericho,

the king of Ai,

the king of Jerusalem,

the king of Hebron,

the king of Jarmuth,

the king of Lachish,

the king of Eglon,

the king of Gezer,

the king of Debir,

the king of Geber,

the king of Hormah,

the king of Arad,

the king of Libnab,

the king of Adullam,

the king of Makkedah,

the king of Bethel,

the king of Tappuah,

the king of Hepher,

the king of Aphek,

the king of Lasharon,

the king of Madon,

the king of Hazor,

the king of Shumron-meron,

the king of Achshaph,

the king of Taanach,

the king of Megiddo,

the king of Kedesh,

the king of Jokneam in Carmel,

the king of Dor in Naphath-dor,

the king of Goiim in Galilee,

the king of Tirzah,

thirty-one kings in all.

Holy cow!! Joshua defeated all those kings? Way to go Joshua. What a resume! Kind of makes you think, "what am I doing with my life?"

Blind People

Deuteronomy 27:17 Cursed be anyone who misleads a blind person on the road.

I'm glad this is in the bible. No one should do that. Period.

Nocturnal emissions

Deuteronomy 23:10-11 If one of you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he shall go outside the camp; he must not come within the camp. When evening comes, he shall wash himself with water, and when the sun has set, he may come back into the camp.

I bet they don't teach this in health classes now. The night after they teach it in class a large groupd of boys head out of town and won't come back till the next night. They won't tell anyone why. The headlines might be hilarious. Anyone have any ideas??

Excluded from the Assembly of the Lord

Deuteronomy 23:1 No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord.

So whether it's your choice (castrati) or someone else's (John Bobbit) you can't get in. That's rough.

Cross Dressing

Suddenly I understand why the uber-christian fun photo booth at the Orange County Fair wouldn't let Sammy and I swap clothing. I think I would have made a great cowboy (see to the left) and I think you all can guess how lovely Sammy looks in a dress but if not (also, see to the left).

Deuteronomy 22:5 A woman shall not wear a man's apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God.